SUMMING UP MY 2020 …

Hey all,

So i know i have been quite rubbish at uploading blog posts . Apologies it has been a weird year for myself and for everyone. I am going to try and put more positives than negatives in this summing up of my 2020. There has been a few negatives that i am not going to share as they are very personal so best not to put them out there. I apologise for how long this blog post is going to be and i thank you for supporting me throughout.

So before we were put into lock-down i was lucky enough in January/February to go and see some musicals. I was lucky enough to go see Hamilton ( which was a dream for myself and my brother to go and see ) we were gifted tickets from family members for our special birthdays. I did write a blog post which i will link. The link to the Hamilton blog post is https://rachelbblogger.wordpress.com/2020/02/04/my-review-of-hamilton-on-the-west-end-in-london/.

I was also lucky enough to see Sara Bareilles (who wrote love song which i absolutely love)perform in Waitress in the West End. Waitress is one of my favourite musicals and i feel so lucky to have experienced seeing her in Waitress. Another musicals i was lucky enough to see before going into lock-down/ theatres having to shut down, i was lucky enough to be able to see Beautiful:The Carole King Musical. I absolutely loved it and such a talented cast. I would definitely go and see it again. I am a massive musical theatre fan.

One of the negatives of 202o is that a lot of shows and concerts me and my family were booked into see were either cancelled or rescheduled for 2021 or 2022.Lots of the tickets were given for previous Christmas or birthday presents but fingers crossed we will be able to see the rescheduled shows and concerts. Although i have watched many streamed musicals online such as 42nd street , An American in Paris and Everybody’s talking about Jamie . It does not have the same feel as seeing it in the theatre but it has been giving me my musical theatre fix.

I was part of a virtual choir who sang lost boys by Ruth B which was a brilliant experience but other than that not really wanted to sing much this year . hoping to want to sing more next year and get back to enjoying singing.

I got back into my photography although not able to use a proper camera because to heavy for my arms to hold but i got a new phone which makes it easier to take photos. I realised how important it was to have photographs as memories.

I found lock-down was incredibly hard on my mental health .The not knowing when i would be in lock-down and what the restrictions would be . It has been such a struggle . I was trying to stay in contact with family and friends but i felt alone a lot of the time although i was surrounded by people . A few of my peers passed away this year unexpectedly which also didn’t help my mental health.There was times i did not want to keep fighting but then i found my partner who saved me and listened and loved me. He is my absolute rock . He showed me a love i had never had before and had never felt before. My health has not been good this year but my health is being looked into. so hopefully will get some answers.

Another positive to come out of this is that reconnected with some friends I hadn’t spoken to for  a while and through the year got to realise who my true friends were and who were actually there for me.

I won A 6ft Christmas tree which myself and my partner decorated well mostly my partner decorated it was so lovely to be able to do together.It was our first Christmas and Christmas tree that we decorated together.

I am hoping 2021 is going to be a better year and i am hoping my mental health and general health will improve. I hope i can see my family and friends in 2021 as miss seeing my nephew, grandparents and siblings as well as my friends . I am hoping to make more memories with my boyfriend. Hope you all have a great 2o21

R X

HELLO 2020 NEW YEAR NEW START

Hi Readers of my blog,

So happy new year to you all and hope 2020 is your year. It is time to make it your year. I am so glad 2020 is a time for a fresh start as 2019 was not a good year at all. I have made some positive intentions for 2020 which i would love to tell you all about. I also know i have not written on my blog for a while. Just a disclaimer i am going to try my best with these positive intentions but i am currently receiving treatments for some of these issues.

1. I am going to start writing on my blog more as i have really missed it and there is always topics going round my head that i want to share with others.

2. I am going to start learning to love myself as if we do not love ourselves who is going to love us. I often find myself talking and thinking negatively about myself. It is not until i had it pointed out to me and then i started to realise even when just thinking about myself i was being negatively. I was saying i am not good enough and i am ugly. This is not the way i should be thinking and feeling about myself. A wise person the other day set me a challenge to look in the mirror and tell myself i am amazing and to compliment myself …. i know how that sounds but if you do not love yourself then who will YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON. A dream come true for me would be to feel comfortable in my body shape . something i would love to take part in would be Gok Wan how to look good naked because Gok Wan is a legend and i would love to treat myself with clothes that really fit my body shape and my figure instead of hiding my body from everyone because i do not think i am good enough or that i look disgusting. I need to work on those thoughts and working on my body confidence issues.

3.I am going to work on putting myself and my needs first starting with my mental health . i am going to try mindfulness and talking about my feelings and letting others help instead of bottling everything up as i have found that this has lost people from my life but i did not want to burden people which in my mind was what i was doing but in fact it is not burdening them and its not a weak thing to ask for help or to talk about things.

4. i am going to do the things i love such as entering competitions a lot of you may not know that i absolutely love entering competitions. as to me there is nothing better than having a congratulations email in my inbox especially when it is something you really want to win. i once won a iPad well actually two which one i kept for myself but the other i gave to a family member. I have won so much stuff since i started and i would love to share some of those wins with you if that is something you are interested in hearing about let me know in the comments.

The final intention for this year is to do what makes me happy such as singing as due to health issues in the last year but singing is something that makes me feel amazing about myself and i feel like it is helping my mental wellbeing. and also i need to learn to say no if i find i need to put myself or my health first.

R x